Otherside
by mileouttahell
Summary: Jake tries to suicide and his family wants to know why. (slash, dark, response to a request.)


Title: Otherside

Author: Taka

Archive: UCA if it's wanted, others w/ permission

Rating: R, probably

Warnings: slash, dark (like most of my fics lately...*sigh*) Also, I refuse to submit to the tyrrany of a timeline, but if you must

know, it's sometime after the war, and I'm using the events of book #49.

Spoilers: Vague for book 49, probably somewhat for others.

Pairing: pre-Jake/Marco

Parts/Series: 1/1, to be followed by a sequel involving the other Animorphs.

Dedication: duhhhh...I'm so absent-minded. To whomever it was who wanted the coming out fic.

"Pour my life into a paper cup

The ashtray's full and I'm spilling my guts

She wants to know am I still a slut

I've got to take it on the other side."

-Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Top of the list of worst possible ways to wake up: In a hospital bed after an attempted suicide. Why? First off, I fully intended

to be dead by now. Second, now everyone's gonna want an explanation. How do I tell them? Rachel won't be too bad. I don't

think she cares. Tobias won't judge either- he respects me too much. Ax, who knows? My family is another matter. And

Cassie...what do I tell her?

And Marco.

"Jake? You're awake!" my brother says, hugging me gently as if he's afraid I might break.

I think I already did.

There's a slight pause, and then he asks, "Why, Jake?"

I definitely saw that one coming.

"I...Tom...you will...not hate me, no matter what, right?" I ask, biting my lip and twisting the bedsheets around. Odd, I never

used to have these nervous habits. I could control my emotions better. Well, as we're so fond of saying, the war changed us all.

And it's probably what the doctors are blaming my suicide attempt on- some sort of shell shock.

Tom has been staring at me for a minute, before he replies, slowly, "Jake, I don't know what could be so bad that you won't tell

me. But I could never, ever hate you. Unless, of course, you steal my girlfriend."

This earned him a small chuckle, mostly forced. It was funny, but I think somewhere down the line I forgot how to laugh. Of

course, it was ironic in a way.

"Um...actually...I can promise you that won't be a problem."

Tom raised an eyebrow at me. He's not that thick. "I think I see where this is going."

"Good, then I don't have to explain."

"Oh yes, you do. I want to hear it straight from you, so there's no confusion later." A pause. "No puns intended."

That earned a real laugh. "Tom...I'm gay."

"And passionately in love with Marco, right?" he said, ruffling my hair.

I blinked, suprised. "How did you know?"

Tom choked. "I was kidding!"

"Oops. You didn't hear that, then." But I was happy that Tom still accepted me, and quite easily, too.

A soft knocking came at the door. "Jake?" my mother said. "The nurse said you were awake. Can we come in?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, sighing and getting ready to face the music.

"Jake...why did you do this?" my dad asked softly, turning over my hands to reveal my stitched wrists.

I winced. "That's kinda....personal," I whispered. Here we go again.

"C'mon, Jake! You can talk to us, you know that!" my mom says, in her mother-hen tone of voice. Not that I can really blame

her. "Does it have something to do with the war? Or- because you broke up with Cassie last week?" I cringed. I'd hoped she

wouldn't find out about that.

"No...well, sort of," I conceded. "Cassie's just like a sister to me- especially lately. I care about her very, very much, and I do

love her- but _only_ as a sister."

"Lately?" Mom asked, sounding more puzzled by the second. "What's happened lately?" I realized that I was going to have to

tell them now, before they got any more confused. A reassuring hand landed on my shoulder, and Tom grinned at me,

squeezing my shoulder in comfort.

"I-" My voice sounded quiet and squeaky, even to my own ears, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "I- I'm gay," I said

softly, my voice only trembling a little this time.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and I looked at my lap, embarrased. 

And then my mom was hugging me as best as she could, without disturbing the IV's and other medical equipment, and my dad

was patting my back awkwardly. 

"Jake," My mother whispered, and I suddenly got the impression that I was the grown-up and she the teen, "I can't claim to

really understand, but I'm relieved. I was afraid that maybe you were doing drugs, or-" she broke off for a minute. "But I'm

very, very proud of what you did and nothing could ever change that."

My dad nodded agreeance, with a hint of a smile on his face.

There was another slight moment of silence, before Tom said, "Sooooo, does Jakey-poo have a boyfriend?"

I smacked him, and I suddenly knew everything would be all right. 


End file.
